FINAL

Loren Carpenter
WST 101
Final Paper

Violence against Women

For many centuries women have been taught to obey, respect and serve men. This is changing, for the better. Women are standing up for themselves, making lives for themselves, and yet this violence against women continues. Every day women are beaten, raped and sometimes killed. There are different forms of abuse, each showing different signs. Different abuses have different signs, and the abusers have little consequences, therefore, help hotlines, websites, and well publicized help organizations are just a few of the many ways to help these women, and children who live their life in fear. I want to start off by giving some statistics.
Every two minutes somebody in the United States is raped. Seventy-three percent of these women know their attacker, and only about sixty percent of all women raped ever take their case to the police. According to www.paralumun.com, One of every four rapes take place in a public area or in a parking garage. Thirty-one percent of female victims reported that the offender was a stranger. Sixty-eight percent of rapes occur between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. At least forty-five of rapists were under the influence of alcohol or drugs. In twenty-nine percent of rapes, the offender used a weapon. In forty-seven percent of rapes, the victim sustained injuries other than rape injuries, and seventy-five percent of female rape victims require medical care after the attack.
According to www.rainn.org, sexual assault is a broader category that the Justice Department uses to classify rape, attempted rape, and other violent felonies that fall short of rape. Rape is defined as forced vaginal, oral, or anal penetration. Remember, you are not at fault. You did not cause the abuse to happen, and you are not responsible for the violent behavior of someone else. There are different forms of rape, Marital, date, statutory, and acquaintance rape are some of the few. Marital rape is considered any unwanted sexual acts forced by your spouse. Date rape is unwanted penetration by the victims escort. Statutory rape is sexual relation when the individual is not legally old enough to consent to sex. Acquaintance rape is pretty self explanatory, rape by someone the victim knows.
After you have been attacked you are urged to go to the police. There are steps to be taken when reporting your attack. They will give you a rape kit. They tell you not to wash your clothes, they could have vital evidence of the attack, and may help identify your attacker. The nurse will collect hair, possibly from the attacker, finger nail scrapings, and leaves or debris from the scene. They nurse will check you for HIV/AIDS. They also have to examine the victim's perineum, thighs, abdomen, buttocks and facial area for evidence of semen. Several slides are made and swabs taken from the vaginal, anal, and oral areas to check for semen, sexually transmitted diseases, and infections. It is important to go to the police as soon as possible after the attack, in order for the arrest of the attacker.
Rape, as we know, is not the only form of abuse. Some abuse starts at a young age. We’ve all known one, or maybe even been one. A Bully. Studies show that bullying can impact a child on into their adulthood. A child who is being bullied often has little, or no friends, isolates themselves, feels as if he or she is not liked or wanted, claims to be sick, my changed their eating and/sleeping patterns, skips school, cries easily, has mood swings, and talks of running away or suicide. These are tell tale signs of abuse, and it can not be stressed enough as to how important it is to get these children help. Some ways of this include getting the facts: what’s happening, who’s doing it, how long it has been going on, and if the teacher knows, but make sure your child knows it is not their fault. Let them know that they does not have to face being bullied alone, and teach them to stand up for themselves. You don’t however want to tell your child to ignore it, ask them to solve the problem themselves, tell them to fight back, call the bully’s parents or blame either your child or the bully. There are also ways to tell if your child IS the bully. Bully’s often seek domination, enjoys having power or control over others, seems to get pleasure out of other fear and pain, and blames other for their problems. If you suspect your child is the bully this also needs to be directed and stopped as soon as possible. Make sure to tell your child that it is NOT okay to bully other children, make sure you child knows the consequences of bullying, help them learn other ways to deal with their anger and frustration, and if needed seek counseling, or some other form of help for your child. These tips, and many more can all be found on http://www.4women.gov/violence/types/
In the United States, a women is beaten every fifteen seconds. There are countless stories from women who have survived beating, after beating in books all around the country, as well as all over the internet. One book that brought this violence to my attention is Women : Images and Realities. Multiple sections were assigned from this book to be read for my women’s studies class. There were stories of women who managed to escape from the brutal beatings, and there were stories of women who unfortunately weren’t so lucky. Disgustingly, these women’s attackers are often let go, or given reduced sentence as a result of pleading guilty. One women who was beat, almost to death, by her boyfriend had to sue the man herself in order to get any justice. There was another section in Women : Images and Realities that really caught my eye. It was titled Countdown. It spoke of a little girl, and her mother. The mother was beaten by her boyfriend and continued to make excuses. The words “it was an accident” were repeated quite often. Those words, have no meaning anymore.
Another form of abuse is emotional. A lot of times emotional abuse can go undiscovered. Sometimes it’s bearable, other times, it’s not. Having been in an abusive relationship myself, I didn’t realize it until it ended. I was never hit, so in my mind, I was never abused. Until it came to a point where if someone other than myself answered the phone, or if it rang until the answering machine picked up, we fought until the early hours of the morning. I solved this problem, I raced to the phone every time it rang. No problem. Until smaller things got on his nerves, until I cried myself to sleep after fighting and making up every single night. Still I had no idea I was being abused. I was guilty, like many women are, of making excuses for my abuser. It was my fault, I knew he wanted me to do this, or I knew he didn’t like to talk about that, but I still did it. So therefore it was my fault. I am here to tell you, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You did nothing to deserve this treatment. Often emotional abusers will try and shift the blame onto having a bad day, or the way he was raised, and sometimes even his victim.
Stalking, not only is it just plain creepy, it can also lead to emotional trauma and stress for the victim. Being stalked can cause nightmares, trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating, and feeling out of control. The National Center for Victims of Crime defines stalking as "virtually any unwanted contact between two people that directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear..." This can include, but is not limited to : following a person, appearing at a person's home or place of business, making harassing phone calls, leaving written messages or objects and vandalizing a person's property. If you think you may be in danger get a restraining order, file a complaint with the police. Tell them about all threats, Write down every incident that happens. Include the time, date, and other important information, and keep videotapes, audiotapes, answering machine/voicemail messages, photos of property damage, and letters.
There are many ways to tell whether a person is being abused, physically and emotionally. Websites upon websites are devoted to telling you what to look for, and how to go about confronting a suspected victim. A few signs of being physically abused, are of course the bruises, cuts, broken bones, but that’s not all. Looking for my sister is a website organization devoted to telling the signs of abuse, constant checkups, control, threats, blame, putdowns, these are all signs that scream ABUSER! Frequent injuries, with “accidental” excuses, sudden frequent absences from work, personality changes, and isolation are also all signs that a person may be being abused. The best way to find out If someone is being abused is to ask. However, when asking make sure the victim knows that the abuse is NOT their fault, and that there are people who can help find a way out. The question always asked is “Why don’t women just leave?” Well there are many reasons a women may not leave her abusive husband. She may not have enough money support herself and her children. She may try to leave, and find that she doesn’t have a safe place for herself or her children to go. Also she may be afraid for their safety.
Almost any website you go to will give you these same tips to leaving your abuser safely and making sure you get custody if children are involved. Make a plan, set aside money, and find a place to go. Gather important papers such as marriage license, birth certificates, social security cards and checkbook. Make sure these papers are someplace you can have easy access to. If you are in danger, call the police. If you are hurt go to a medical professional. There are “safe houses” for women and children to go to when running from an abuser. It is said that children who grow up in abusive homes are more likely to become abusers or be abused themselves. If you child has been abused, or has seen you abused get them help. Counseling, individual and family is a good way to help you and your child cope with what has happened.
Take Back The Night “rallies offer survivors of violence an opportunity to give voice to their experiences and publicly affirm their transition from victim to survivor.” TBTN is said to have started in 1877 when women objected the fear and violence they experienced in the streets of London at night. Though some believe TBTN’s first rally took place in 1976 when “women attending the International Tribunal on Crimes Against Women lit candles and took to the moonlit streets of Belgium to denounce the continuation of violence against women.” Tack Back The Night has inspired not only women, but men as well, to confront rape, sexual violence, domestic violence, violence against children, and violence against women. The theme of Take Back The Night is, of course, the affirmation that all human beings have the right to be free from violence, to be heard, and to reclaim those rights if they are violated. TBTN is just one of the many organizations to give support to women who have been abused, in any way.
Another organization, a website, www.rainn.org, [Rape, Abuse, & Incest Nation Network] gives information to help a loved one. They tell you to listen, be patient, help empower you loved one, give them a safe place to go. RAINN also has a link in which to find a local counseling center. Statistics, help on reporting your abuse, tips on reducing your risk, as well as types of sexual assault, effects of sexual assault and recovering from sexual assault are all given on rainn.org There are links to get involved in, and to support, RAINN. So join in and help save our battered and bruised women of the past, present and future.